05/12/2010

All hail the biddy tots!

On a Wednesday morning while lil legs is at nursery Blossom and I attend a Mum and baby/toddler group. Myself and my kooky friend have renamed  the group 'biddytots' on account of it being run by a group of church goers who are lets say, senior in years.

Each week we pay our fifty English whole pence for our pink wafer biccy and a cup of Iceland's instant coffee and stifle giggles as the biddies get run ragged by the toddlers and make inappropriate comments as only those past caring over seventy do.

I always find the experience surreal as my buddy Cheshire Mum spends her Wednesday with Coleen Rooney (you know the one that married Shrek .)   I know! Glam right? They go to the same toddler music group. And there we are experiencing a different type of Hollywood tan altogether. Mainly the pop sock forty denier kind.

These last few weeks both of us have had to feign excuses more believable than 'we are washing our hair' as the biddies are trying to force us to come to the Christmas party that's in the evening sans kids. There will be 'festive food such as lasagna, something with chicken and food for those vegetarian people snort and if you don't like that then I'm sure there will be quiche.' Apparently.Funnily enough we've both managed to weedle out of going but part of me thinks maybe we should go just to see what the biddies are like after a few pints of cooking sherry?

But  the star of biddy tots is Micheal Caine. Not the real one you understand. But he is pretty bloody close. He takes the fifty pence when you arrive and gets yelled at takes instruction from the main biddy. I'm not sure how the main biddy got the important role of main biddy. Maybe she was voted the main biddy? I'm doubtful. I think she probably forced the title on herself. I'm sure a Lord of the Flies scenario only with biddies is on the cards at some point. In fact if she's not there after Christmas I would put money on the other biddies having got fed up with her and putting her in the lasagna at the  adults only Christmas party.

Oh blimey.

Do any of you go to a similar surreal group run by senior citizens?

03/12/2010

I *heart* Build a Bear. I mean my kids do.

Let us get the boring bit out of the way first huh? This is not a sponsored post, the payment I received for my review was two cuddly Build a Bears for my kids, and what Mummy would refuse her kids that hey?

Our adventure started here
and as we arrived at The Build a Bear workshop in Brighton Monty was, lets say, a little excited.
See! GRIN! The staff at the Brighton branch took care of us so well, I would personally like to thank Hayley, Jo and Perrie for really spoiling my children and they thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience.
Before we arrived I had mentally decided that Monty could choose what ever he liked and I would have artistic direction over Blossoms choices, that Blossoms Build a Bear would be a classy affair and Monty's would be just as he  wished. I had no idea Monty would choose a lilac sparkly bear, give it the star wars theme tune when you squeeze its tum and dress him as a policeman. Lets just say  'Teddyson' as Mo named him will definately be coming to gay pride this year and I am so proud of Monty for his choices.

So, once the bear had been chosen and a sound effect decided on Teddyson was then stuffed and a bar code was placed in him so if we were to ever lose him he could be returned to a Build a Bear branch, unstitched,identified and returned to his rightful owner. Bear genius that!

Monty then chose a heart to put inside his bear, and granted him lots of love, lots of brains and a full tummy always. Very cute to watch.

And then we got to the best bit. The clothes. Oh my lordy I was in hysterics. Build a Bear boxers? Got em! Hannah Montanna outfit for Bear? Of course! Along with flip flops, roller skates, a diploma scroll, a mobile phone.....basically all your bears needs are catered for. And catered for well.

Here is Mo holding up  his well dressed  bear!

Then every bear needs a birth certificate with name,date of birth, height and weight details all included of course.

Earlier I mentioned Blossoms classy bear as chosen by me. Well that was my intention. This is what we went for

I couldn't help it, next thing I knew I had chosen a mini skirt and sparkly cardi for an ice skating Hello Kitty.  I love her. I mean Blossom does. Obviously. Ahem.

The whole experience was a joy to watch as the kids had a whale of a time.

Price wise I think the sky is the limit, Bears start at around £15 on average, and outfits can be bought for around the same price including shoes. So they can be pocket money treats or big spends for a special occassion. It's up to you.

You can check Build a Bear out on facebook HERE

And their website HERE

02/12/2010

38 weeks


In homage to my good friend Claire's lovely blog post about her beautiful daughter baby G when she reached the same age outside as she had got to inside. xxx



Dear Blossom

So 38 weeks. I never did manage to get to my due date. Your brother was the same.

38 weeks feels like an entire lifetime ago and it feels almost as though you were always here. But at the same time I feel as though you have just turned up to the party and still struggle terribly with there being two gorgeous beings for me to love unconditionally and uncontrollably.

These last few weeks have been hard, I've been to some grim places (a phrase only a Mother can understand.) You've had coughs and colds, sickness and then the chicken pox all in the space of six weeks.

You are a clingy baby, there is no denying it. You seem to feel as though the safest place for you is in my arms and anywhere else may prove the end of your little world as you know and understand it. I love feeling you close but sometimes I ache and find things very hard one handed.

But this soon shall pass and before I know it you will be running away rather than snuggling in.

So for now I'll hold you close and hold you near.

Love you forever and a day and to the moon and back.

Mummy. x

10/11/2010

Who likes cupcakes? Meeeeeeeeee!




This is not a sponsored post and I have not been paid to write it other than in baking equipment to make delicious cakes.Yum.


When I was on maternity leave with Monty a gorgeous little cakery cafe opened selling the most beautiful cupcakes you have ever seen. I spent many an afternoon there, eating cupcakes and cooing over my gorgeous boy.



This is what their cakes look like. Amazing aren't they?

It was then that my cupcake obsession began. I try to bake and ice them as beautifully as they do at Parklife but usually fail. The last chocolate batch I did looked like curly dog turds but there you go.

And so with my adoration  for all things cuppity cake, I'd like to tell you about a competition over on the tescos website which opens today.

All you have to do is add a photo of your cupcake creations onto the Tesco website

There will be two winners and they will be judged on the beauty of their cupcake.

So what do you win? Well I am glad you ask because it is quite a treat if you like baking.  The lucky winners will be able to bring a friend and enjoy an afternoon of cupcake creating with a chef on Friday 10th December in London. Ten runner ups will win a cupcake kit (which I myself have sampled as  a thanks from Tescos for writing this post. I will be blogging my next attempt at creating the cupcake of dreams of course!)

The last day that you can enter is Monday 29th November.
Get baking and good luck!

09/11/2010

And that's how Mo sees it (vol 3)



My boy is growing up so fast it makes me want to throw myself on the floor with annoyance and shake my fist at the sky.

Which is slightly ridiculous but there you have it.

His language and ability to throw a sentence together has me floored daily. He's like a little old man.

Some recent gems have been:

Mummy that is just i-dick-u-lous (storms off.) I have to laugh at the early stages of Victor Meldrew appearing in my toddler.

Then we have the Toystory obsession much like a lot of three year old boys. Normal yes? Yes. Do most three year olds shout 'To infinity and beyoooooooond?' Of course they do. Mine doesn't. Recently he was jumping up and down on my bed while stark naked shouting 'IN-FANNY- AND - BEYOOOOND'
a strange porny homage to the pixar classic I'm sure you'll agree?

Then we had the 'fark we got to make the bed' incident. This was coupled with the gorgeous husband stomping down the stairs and relaying to me that lil legs had just used afore mentioned phrase. After about 6 repeats it was obvious he was saying first not *ahem* the other word but I did snort at the immediate assumption that Mo had turned into the offensive Nan from the Catherine Tate show.

We are also dealing with a lot of indignance. Is that a word? Anyway, that is what he is. Indignant. A lot. I find it hilarious how I have managed to produce a two foot know all, apparently 'sea water does taste nice Mummy h'actuallally, yes, I sink it does.'
Oh really kid? We live about five minutes from the sea hows about we find out huh? The saddest thing in this scenario is that I actually want to prove to my three year old that sea water tastes of donkey piss by marching him down to the water. I know!

Don't call social services.

Please?

08/11/2010

Photobox review

When the lovely people at Photobox contacted me and asked if I would trial a product of theirs of my choosing (for free) in exchange for  a post on my thoughts it was a bit of a no brainer for me. I got to choose some thank you photocards free of charge and it had just been Monty's birthday so these were very much in order- perfect timing!

So I went about uploading my image, playing about with it until I was one hundred percent happy with it. I then placed my order and within about five days I had my postcards in my hands.Great.

I am a bit of a thank you card addict.At twenty seven years of age I am still sending them. And I get a bit miffed when people cannot be faffed to say 'ta for the gift.' I know it is old fashioned but I am just a  bit like that, I like to put a bit of effort in so people realise that their kindness has been noticed. So I am an old hand at the upload your photo and choose a thank you card malarky. I have used all the big websites on offer. Photobox has been by far the easiest and the quickest and I would definitely use them again.

What I loved about the experience
  • Ease of use
  • Ability to really play with the image and make changes (I changed my from colour to black and white Without losing quality)
  • Speed of delivery
  • Price- if I had paid for this item it would have been just over £20 for the 40 cards. I think this is reasonable for personal cards and I have paid a lot more when doing Christmas cards!Hence I'll be back.
  • The quality of the product was brilliant and I really could not fault it.

03/10/2010

#Twineup Venue and details

I have booked a table for a quick dinner HERE at 7.30, before moving on to the main event (which handily is just opposite Carluccios where we are eating)  where we have a reserved area booked HERE for 8.30pm Saturday October 23rd.

The venue is Merkaba cocktail bar which is in MyHotel  (17 Jubilee Street Brighton BN1 1GE)

 Brighton train station is just a 5 minute walk away so plenty close enough for those on the last train home.

Full map and details HERE

So far there is 10 of us but there is still time to let me know if you are coming just leave me a comment, tweet me (@becaboop) or drop me an email (rebecca dot metcalf1 at ntlworld dot com)

Oh and by the way the drinks list? Thats HERE I for one can't wait to do cocktails and chats with you all!

27/09/2010

sleepytot review

The lovely Hello Baby Direct sent Blossom  her very own sleepytot to review.

When I was a newborn I was given a yellow rabbit which as I got older became known as 'Rab.'  He is present in many a baby picture of me, came with me on my first day at school and then when I was 22 and the gorgeous husband and I got Lenny (who was then a tiny puppy) he had his face chewed off by said puppy. Hmmmm. He now has a new face provided by my Nan, who is a very talented stuffed toy surgeon. While she was at it she gave him some furry leg warmers as his legs were looking a bit threadbare and worn. Well bald actually.

What I'm trying to say is, sometimes a toy just stays with you and I'm hoping that the sleepytot will be to Blossom what Rab is  to me. I still have him. I still love him.

It is described on the site as ''a baby comforter whose cuddly paws fold over to secure baby’s soother so it's always close at hand.'' well Blossom doesn't have a soother, she has her thumb in her mouth and her sleepytot in the other hand and it is the cutest thing to see them snuggled up together. I hope she still has hers aged 27 just like her Mummy! I wonder what she'll name him?Maybe Rab 2? Shall I force  encourage her to call him that?

I apologise for the lack of images in this post. Is anyone else having problems with getting pictures uploaded onto blogger. Actually want to rip my arm off and throw it. To show my distaste obviously.

24/09/2010

Anyone else have a shitty smile?

As Blossom sat wedged into her bumbo shovelling food into her little gob with her little fingers I watched as she paused and the expression that crept across her face was all too familiar. One I had seen many times before on her brother.

You see, they share the same poo face.

Yes that gurney smiley face they both do when they are doing a farty party in their pants.

Which leads  me to wondering, do we all have the same number two face? Is it the family resemblance of many a generation that we all share the same appearance when we are dropping the kids off at the pool of the white porcelain variety?

I am considering jumping in on the gorgeous husband when he is taking a dump to see if he is sporting that all too familiar face that my kids do, that beetroot faced, blood vessel popping, feint poopy grin. Is it him they get it from or me? I rather think it is him, and definitely not me as obviously I never do them, and if I did I would look serene and somewhat like the mona lisa or someone equally as fab.

What about you? Do your kids share similar traits or expressions? Is it a trait shared by the whole family?Obviously not poo face. Think that's just us.

21/09/2010

#TWINEUP! Calling all South Coast Mummy/Daddy bloggers/tweeters

We've been talking about it for months and now we have a date!

On Saturday 23rd October the lovely Cheshire Mum who I adore is arriving down south and it would be rather rude of us not to show her a good time (snigger) so, Brighton is the venue and I'm making arrangements as we speak but basically the evening will involve a lot of lovely people, cocktails, karaoke and of course the obligatory dance in a gay bar. It has to be done.

So if you want to come along,  can you leave me a comment so I can arrange numbers and drop me an email (rebecca(DOT)metcalf1(AT)ntlworld(DOT)com so that I can give you all the finalised details. Or you can tweet me HERE

Also Queen Hannah will be staying at mine,  I have done my front garden in preparation for her visit. Oh that sounds kinky. Not like that.  But anyway, if you want to be educated on the crapest TV ever, she's your gal! Reason enough to come out and play I think?

A tasty lunch with a guru!

On Monday I pootled off to London for a lunch date,having been invited by Dorling Kindersley to meet Annabel Karmel and discuss her new book and range of sauces and snacks.

I was joined by some fabulous Mummy bloggers, the lovely Katie Hill who blogs for i village HERE and Mumsrock.

Now when I initially got the invite I was in two minds, one because the gorgeous husband was off work and we've been having a stay cation whilst Monty recuperates frpm his operation so didn't want to swan off and leave him with the kids. Also the fact that I have gone down the baby led weaning route and Annabel is a puree guru.

However I was soon persuaded otherwise when the lovely contact from DK mentioned that Annabel would be only to happy to talk to me about getting Monty to enjoy food again after his operation. I also was reminded by a friend that Annabel doesn't just do purees, but also amazing finger food and family recipes too. I looked at my bookshelf, where many Annabel Karmel cookbooks already reside and decided I'd be silly to pass up such an opportunity.

Annabel was great when I opened up about Monty's eating quirks since he's had such a bad time with his ear nose and throat problems. I explained how little he eats and although what he does eat is very healthy, his diet is quite limited as he'll only eat certain things.The things that he does eat Annabel thought were great but I really would love him to have a bit more variety.

Annabel suggested:
  • as Monty has a preference for lunch/snack/tapas type food to relax and go with this. So for example he likes wraps so she suggested lots of different fillings or making quesilladas.
  • choosing a new bowl or plate that he likes and only serving small amounts so he doesn't feel overwhelmed
  • knowing that it will get better!Annabel set my mind at ease that it is understandable he eats so little after having a permanent cold for two years.
  • hiding fruit or veg in his food, blending more veg into soups or sauces. A needs must attitude!
  • Stop worrying.He doesn't eat a large variety of fruit.He only eats dried fruit,or bananas. She said not to worry as dried fruit is fruit after all!
  • Cooking and baking with Monty, she even gave me one of her toddler cookbooks to keep and it has some great recipes for family meals in.
Annabel has some great  products out such as dried fruit which is (unlike most other brands) not fried and doesn't have oil added to it, corn snacks a bit like puffed rice cakes and fabulous sauces that have NOTHING  nasty added.  Check out her website for details here but honestly I have studied the ingredients and done the taste test- huge thumbs up!

And if you are just about to wean and want some fab recipes and really good inspiration for finger food then you can buy the Weaning book HERE.





14/09/2010

I'm sure he's plotting to bury me under the patio

I found this the other day, discretely pinned on our noticeboard in the kitchen.



I know. It is quite obvious that the gorgeous husband is plotting to quieten my incessant nagging for good. I shall no doubt be bashed over the head and buried under the patio no? Or would the decking be easier? Anyhoo, this is definitely what it is.
Except it probably isn't. But then, what is it?

Happy half birthday Blossom!

Last week Blossom turned six months so Monty and I baked her a little half birthday cake


And here's the half birthday gal


Blossom loves...

  • boobs
  • food
  • her rabbits
  • being on her feet
  • stroking faces
  • her brother


Blossom is...
  • babbling
  • nearly sitting
  • kind of rolling
  • giggling
  • saying mmmm when Mummy walks in the room (nothing to do with Mummy and more to do with milk I think!)
  • sleeping through the night- yay! twelve blissful hours.
I have no idea where the last six months have gone but if anybody knows i would totally appreciate it if you let me know.
Zoooooooooooooom!

Sharing is caring, isn't it?


I found these in the gorgeous husbands dressing gown pocket.
Git.
Hiding treats is so selfish. Unless obviously they are mine. And I've stashed them in the bathroom somewhere.Then it's fine.

08/09/2010

A little trip to the hospital

As you all know from this post Monty had his tonsills and adenoids out last week, his ears thoroughly drained and he became the owner of some grommets.

He was so brave and coped so well with the lead up to his operation that I have to admit to being a teeny bit proud of lil legs.

He chilled out with the Peppa Pig hospital episode on his TV, and checked out the gas mask that the anaesthetist would be using

When it came to the op itself he took the transport provided by the hospital to travel in style down the corridors

It's been pretty horrible for him since the op, it's too difficult for him to understand why he's feeling like this. He was hysterical for over two hours after coming round from the anaesthetic. And has bouts of sobbing uncontrollably. It's kind of breaking my heart a bit.

I just have to keep telling myself that the really really poorly ones don't make any sound and to be thankful that he is letting us know that he is MIGHTILY PEED OFF!

Massive thanks to all the staff that looked after my boy at The Royal Alexandra Children's hospital in Brighton. They did a fantastic job and continue to do a fantastic job. I have so much respect for anyone who looks after tiny poorly people.

So there we go, all done.
(insert massive Mummy sigh)

The original no tray high chair

I have to admit to being a little bit chuffed at being sent the no tray high chair to review.

Designed in 1962 by an architect (Stephen Gip) who was frustrated by what was on offer it has become a design staple known to us all.
Find me a parent who hasn't popped their little one into one of these at the likes of pizza express, Ha Ha bar and canteen, Las Iguanas etc etc. I doubt you'll find one! Its kind of the archetype of highchairs, the Morris Minor of the kid cuisine world!
And now it's available to us, joe public. Hurrah!

So here's what I thought of it:

Great points
  • it has a fairly small foot print, not a great deal larger than an actual dining chair
  • it sits right up to the table so your mini person can enjoy eating with you
  • very easy to assemble
  • reasonable price (approx £75-85) depending on where you look.
  • easy to keep clean as there aren't too many nooks and crannies for the food to travel into
  • has a clippable safety harness (purchased for an additional £2.50)
  • its stack able, great if you have more than one child, I'm thinking twins?hell, triplets?
  • its solid, durable. I honestly think this highchair would outlive me, probably even my kids!
  • Comes in a variety of funky colours so as well as the light and dark wood it also now comes in black, white and the dreamy blue you see pictured.  The blue is my fave.

Not so great points
  • Blossom at 6 months was in my opinion too small for this. I don't personally think it is suitable until they are sitting really well at possibly 7 or even 8 months? On the flip side my 3 year old Monty wasn't too big for it.
  • It's a bit hard for a really small one, it definitely needs a cushion. They could design a range of highchair inserts in funky fabrics and parents would love them (I think so anyway.)

I asked Monty what he thought about the highchair. He said '' I think it brilliant.'' Blossom gave no comment but then to be fair, she can't actually talk yet so we'll let her off.

Photo credit- thanks to Scandinavian selection for the image.

02/09/2010

I want it to be this time, tomorrow.

Tomorrow we will be getting up, convincing Monty that going without his morning milk is a good thing and making our way to the hospital for 7.30 am.

I have been trying to pretend it's not happening but I cannot bury my head up an emu's bum any longer, apparently Rod Hull (rip) needs it back and denial (as well as not being a river in Egypt) is plainly stupid.

He is only having his tonsills and adenoids out and a couple of grommets chucked in for good measure. It is a routine op. So why do I feel sick?

The operation should change his life dramatically. His hearing will improve. He will hopefully no longer be that kid with the snot. Hell he may even eat something as he should gain the luxury of being able to breath through his nose. Hopefully the sleep apnoea will go and we may manage to get 11 hours solid sleep from him again and he'll stop being such a grouch through tiredness?

All this is great.

I really want him to have this op. I do.

But I wish that I could have it in his place.

And so I guess THAT is why I feel sick. Because THAT is what happens when you become a Mummy.  And I am learning THAT all the time.

Hopefully he'll be back to grinning like this in no time.

01/09/2010

Five years? Five years!


Tommorow is our wedding anniversary. Five years ago I married the love of my short lifetime aged just twenty two knowing that I wanted to be with my best friend forever.

He still makes my heart skip a beat.
He is the best Dad you could ever imagine, better even.
I take him completely for granted in the knowledge that he adores me.
He makes me try to be a better person.

And his farts stink worse than mine!


31/08/2010

The Gallery: #Blogadesh


This weeks theme for the gallery at sticky fingers is One day (the 29th to be precise) in August to bring attention and raise awareness of the fact that three great Mummy bloggers Josie,Sian and Eva have travelled to Bangladesh to help Save the Children with their amazing work.

The brief is to use any photo that you took on the 29th of August.

So here is mine. It's not arty or sophisticated, the camera work lacks skill but it basically sums up a lazy Sunday in my house, Monty and Lenny lolling about and Blossom kicking away on her play mat. I look at this photo and realise how lucky my children are, hell even how lucky my dog is! My children are fed, watered, clothed and happy. My dog is walked and if I am being honest a little tubby. All are healthy.



I have heard grumblings this week of the state that our country is in and yet we still send aid to crisis ridden countries. Anyone who thinks like this needs to have a long hard think.

If you are ill we have the NHS in this country.
If you are hungry there are many charities and support agencies that will do their best to make sure your welfare is improved.
If you are in poverty we can to some degree rely on our welfare state to do something.

A lot of people have it so much worse. We have been lucky to have been born here not there.

Think about it.

Diet what diet? Whoops.


This week I have not excercised other than some big beefy walks with the twin stroller.

Oh and I appear to have forgotten I am on a diet. I keep eating things and then remembering that I am not supposed to be eating things like that.  You know, cake! If I am honest I am finding it hard to be good while breastfeeding, I'm good all day and by the evening I need comfort food.

So not a good stroll back to shape week for me but next week I endeavor to do better.

29/08/2010

A superhero party and a decorated cell

Last week we had a party for Monty to celebrate having kept him alive for 3 whole years his 3rd birthday.
The theme was superheroes, as you can see from the picture,lil legs was a rather cute Sportacus from Lazytown. He desperately wanted his Daddy to be Sportacus too, as did the Gorgeous Husband as he is unhealthily OBSESSED with Lazytown let me tell you. But they don't do them in grown lanky fella size so we had to make do with this outfit


Yes (snigger) Daddy was Superman!

We hired the local hellhole sportcentre for two hours where mini people dressed as Spiderman, Batman, Buzz Lightyear, Stormtroopers,Ben 10 , Indiana Jones and  about five kids dressed as Superman went mental played virtuously and wholesomely on a bouncy castle and assorted highly flammable plastic toys.

This was all well and good but then we came to the eating part. The sport centre had provided a cell the size of a gob of spit small but perfectly formed function room. They failed to mention that the room next to ours was holding a Chav Wedding classy affair where people smoked fags celebrated the nuptials of two barely legal fresh faced individuals.

Oh well at least there was cake!





Monty certainly enjoyed the cake and his sister had a Buzz Lightyear dress which someone kept calling a bib

I know, cute right?

Incidentally Parklife Cakery baked the cake. But on the day  I passed it off as my own handywork (as you do.)

Our house.

I look at my babies and pinch myself.

I am in awe of everything they do. I cannot believe I have produced such wonderful beings.

I hate the speed at which it is passing and want to pause this moment forever.

As a Mum of one everything is the next stage, the next development.

As a Mum of two everything is happening too quickly and I want my babies to stay babies. I don't want the next stage yet as I want to savour the current one.

With Monty's babyhood I was determined to maintain a sense of balance and order. In Blossom's I relish the chaos and breastfeed in my sleep!

Three years ago today we moved into this house and filled it with boxes and a tiny twelve day old baby. (And a big dog!)

Three years later it's just filled with love.


Ahem. Well and a whole load of other stuff, but, y'know.

26/08/2010

Last week it was shorties birthday


We were having a party for Monty the Saturday after his birthday (the Tuesday) so wanted to keep his actual day really simple, just a picnic, cake, scoot along the seafront and not much else.

It rained, just drizzled initially.

My family are so British when it comes to summertime, carry on regardless and all that.

So I Just slung on a coat and set out the picnic  in the drizzle. The drizzle became rain and my poor little Nan just dutifully put on her cagoule. My Grandad put on what I can only describe as a dodgy Tommy Hilfiger fleece ( the fake kind that you buy from the market with a shirt with Kelvin Cline emblazoned across it) I started to laugh hysterically until My Mum informed me it was not even my Grandad's fleece but her soon to be Husbands. Whoops.We sat and ate in the rain.

Then I noticed there was snot on my trench coat. A long silvery line of snail trail courtesy of lil legs.

Then Blossom sharted over herself. And  me. I literally had shit all over my top.

Monty opened his presents and we packed up the picnic and literally flung everything into the car and drove to the closest soft play place we could find.Monty was none the wiser and just thought it was all part of the treat. He ran rings around my Grandad and exhausted my Mum. All good stuff.

The gorgeous Husband saw his Sergeant with his kids, and I joined in with the chitchat.

It was only afterwards I remembered the shit all over my top.

Oh. Bloody hell.



This was the day after his birthday. There was no rain the day after. Typical.

25/08/2010

New wheels!

As I mentioned here I have been using a new double stroller generously given to me by Maclaren.

I push a Phil and Teds sport with the double system, and my other buggy is a bugaboo. So I guess I am a tough crowd as both buggies I already own are great in the most part.

But I have to say I am so impressed.

Good
I like the fact it is so light in comparison to the Phil and Teds.t fits in the boot easily (if it makes any odds I drive a Mercedes A class where the boot is small.)
I like the double storage, this gets lost with my Phil and Teds as the storage becomes the foot well.
The hoods are a decent size and have an added rain canopy.
The raincover is excellent and folds small. Therefore not taking up all your under buggy storage space.
The pockets on the back of the hood are great for storing phone and keys and the drink holders hold both my water bottle and Mo's cup with grabbing reach.
I can virtually fold and unfold it one handed with Blossom on my hip! Hurrah!
The hinges have been covered posing no worries to tiny fingers.
It is reasonably priced by comparision to most doubles at just over £220-£270 depending where you buy.
It steers beautifully for a side by side.

Bad
It doesn't do curbs well, I have to get all my weight behind it to tilt it.
The two seperate handles as opposed to a handle bar can make one handed pushing hard.

To be honest I really dont think any double buggy is going to be easy peasy, it is double the weight and width. I have got this one wedged in my front door where I just left it for the gorgeous husband to deal with when he got home!!! But that is not a bad reflection of the Maclaren I just live in a narrow victorian house with silly sized doorways!

This buggy has really changed my mind on strollers, I have to admit to being a stoller snob before but I've had such an easy ride with this that I am contemplating putting the Phil and Teds in the loft!

So THANKYOU Maclaren!

Losing pounds (and I don't mean money!)

I want rid of my baby weight.

It doesn't suit me, some women suit being bigger, more cuddIey, they glow with bigger boobs and have an hourglass shape. Not me - my face looks like it should have two postcodes and my tummy leaves a lot to be desired.  That coupled with normal sized arms and legs I cut a rather odd looking figure at the moment. Kind of an apple (fruit not the brand!) version of Mr Potato Head.

I was lucky enough to be sent a double stroller by Maclaren in exchange for blogging my journey back to shape. The idea is I exercise with the buggy and fit exercise into my everyday life.

 I started my journey here .I've got to be honest it's really hard! My difficulty is keeping the kids happy in the buggy while I try to exercise. They love breezing along during an epic power walk and I love walking too. But the stress sweats from the small people shouting shouting every time we stop is frankly a bit annoying.

Maybe I need to time exercise around nap time and give Mo a muffin?

Anyway something is obviously working as I have lost 3lb and am now under the 11stone mark which was a huge deal for me.

So I'll keep bombing around, and watching what I eat as it's obviously working and I'll report back!

Oh and I will be reviewing the double stroller soon too. I am very impressed with it!

24/08/2010

How to prevent a head that is shaped like a box?

When Monty was Blossoms age his head was box shaped. I am not exaggerating, it was due to the fact that he did little, him being one of those babies that was in no rush to get, well, doing. He just lay on his back, sat in his chair, screamed on his front or toppled over when  I attempted to sit him up. Obviously he ended up doing all of these things he just liked to keep me on the gin my toes!

So with all the arduous lying on his back he developed what between my Mum and i became as affectionately known as 'slap head' due to the back of his bonce having the appearance of being slapped (just for the record I did not slap him, nor did my Mum and baby slapping is not something I am making a joke out of.)

So when  I was offered the theraline baby pillow to review I thought we'd give it a go as I am a vain Mummy and did not much like my boy having a box shaped head.

She has been using it for months now, and has never shown signs of slap or box headiness!

Other than square bonce prevention it also claims that it
  •  keeps babies head in an ideal sleep position
  • allows head to turn
  • free circulation of air allows baby to breath easily
  • supports rapid correction of deformities
It is machine washable and costs less than £20, to check out their other items go to http://www.theraline-shop.co.uk/

Personally I think it did what was required of it successfully and would be money well spent if your childs head was severely deformed from lying on their back.



Many thanks to theraline for use of the cute baby image.

16/08/2010

Three years ago

'


Three years ago I looked like this!
Three years ago  I woke at 6am with 'period pains.
Three years ago I ignored them.
Three years ago I had 'a show.'
Three years ago I ignored that also.
Three years ago I got up and made a picnic.
Three years ago I went to a picnic on Hove seafront with all of my Husbands colleagues thinking that braxton hicks really bloody hurt.
Three years ago I walked around that picnic holding my back and unable to sit down.
Three years ago I paced up and down to the toilets thinking I probably just needed a dump!
Three years ago my Husbands colleagues kept asking him 'if Mrs M was alright?'
Three years ago I convinced myself that there was no way I was in labour at 38 weeks as the flat was in boxes and we were waiting for the sale  to go through and move into our house and it would all be perfect and......oh.....ouch.....


Three years ago I was wrong!

And  this little fella came to say hi



Monty will be three tomorrow.

I think he will anyway, if you ask him he says 'I think I'm probably gonna be three?'

07/08/2010

The foods the thing

Blossom is five months old and it will soon be time to start weaning.

Its been two and a half years since I weaned Monty and things have changed. Baby Led Weaning was something I read about when I was pregnant with him and was very popular in Brighton where he was born. I thought it was a fantastic idea. Then we moved when he was a few weeks old and I kind of forgot about it and went along my merry puree way thinking I was  Annabel Karmel in converse.  I just kind of went the route that the Health Visitors guided at the weaning talk. He loved his food and progressed to lumps and finger food in a matter of months so it never really was an issue.

He's not so good with his grub now though, but I guess it is hard to eat a meal when you can't breath out of your nose. I have no idea how he survives on so little calories but that is another post entirely!

So this is a post for pleading for advice. Books you can recommend, personal experience, top tips, great websites etc. Hit me with the good stuff please as I am in a bit of a quandary. I like the idea of BLW but I am concerned about the initial stages, getting enough protein into her before she can really chew. I know that food under one is just for fun and breast milk will largely be enough for her. Can you do a combination of the puree way and the just giving her what we are eating for her to discover or is that the silliest thing you have ever heard? Does that defeat the whole object?

See what I mean? Help mucho appreciated!

05/08/2010

The one where I become less of a fatty?

Blossom is five months old and  despite losing a stone I am still not happy with the amount of baby weight I seem to be clinging onto.

So I intend to do something about it.

Unfortunately for me it is going to involve eating less and moving more. But still consuming enough to breastfeed. Yes people this means cutting out chocolate. And cake.  (I am sobbing as I type.)

I know. YUCK!

Luckily for me I have the support of Maclaren who have given me a twin stroller to review whilst using their stroll back to shape programme

By blogging about it I hope that will give me the incentive and the willpower to succeed. The alternative is public humiliation. And we all know that I have had enough public humiliation in my ickle life (see my urinating on stage post)

So,  target weight is 9stone. No time limit but before Monty and Blossom go to university would be just grand.

Wish me luck people! Oh and Nudie Princess if the next time I see you you flaunt cake at me. That is just mean ok?

16/07/2010

An operation and a Mummy wibble

Monty has finally been given the go ahead by his ENT specialist to have his adenoids and tonsills removed.
This is fantastic news as my poor boy  suffers from awful sleep oapnia, has glue ear, a constant runny nose, dribbles 24/7, eats very little due to being unable to breath through his nose and all this has really made an impact on his life.

The symptoms feed into everything, tiredness and lack of food are not a great toddler combo. Sometimes it feels like a miserable viscious circle and it effects his mood incredibly as you would imagine.

So why am I so anxious about this op? It hopefully will be the answer to everything?

The thought of him on the operating table,he is so little, not even three yet.

Can you all just tell me it will be ok?

Pathetic wibble over,oh but it's not. YES IT IS.

15/07/2010

And that's how Mo sees it (vol 2)


We had a bad night last night in our abode. Both Monty and Blossom are poorly sick with coughs and colds. I must of been up about four times with Blossom and Mo ended up in bed with us,cue multiple kicks to the head as he always chooses to sleep sideways and I always seem to get the foot end on my side.

I kept Monty off nursery and despite his cold he has kept the comedy coming today. Here are a few:

Mo: I hungry Mummy
Me: OK do you want these, or these ( I show him banana chips or organix crisps)
Mo: (Looking left to right quickly) WHAT?! What you showing me women?

As we eat our cheese scone for lunch
Mo: Are you gonna give Blossom some cheese Mummy? From your Boooooobies?

I'm outside with Mo hanging out the washing, Blossom is inside in her bouncy chair
Me:Mo can you just pop inside to keep your sister company?
Mo: Of course Mummy. (Arm out front superman style) TO THE RESCUE! (runs inside)

We are chatting about his birthday party coming up. It's going to be fancy dress with a superhero theme.
Mo: I gonna wear curtain just like superman. No actually I be Wobby Wotton.

So a day that could of been pants with two poorly miniatures was actually pure solid gold.

Cheers Mo. x

14/07/2010

Blog of substance award







Ooof The lovely Mrs L J Hall  has gifted me the Blog of Substance Award. I love awards, it's like a big hug for your blog and who doesn't like a hug? People with personal space issues and huggists I guess, but I am neither so thanks for my blog hug and....what was I saying?

Anyway.
THE RULES:



1) Say thanks to the blogger who awarded you



2) Share your five word blogging philosophy



3) Nominate further bloggers of substance



My blogging philosophy is....

*insert swooshing wind sound and roll tumbleweed across page*

OK I got it

PICKLE CRAVINGS TO POTTY TRAINING

The name of this blog is indicative of the frankly ludicrous quantities of Beetroots and Gherkins that I was shovelling into my gob when I was pregnant with Pickle (now Blossom)and a large part of this blog has been dedicated to diarising my pregnancy and subsequent labour. The rest is a load of shit. Well potties full of it anyway, as I verbally vomit my experiences of potty training little legs.And then there is a whole load of in between. In essence my blog is my keepsake of my babies while they are babies as I never want to forget and they will not be babies for long. SOB AND SNIFF.

Anyway, I pass this blog of substance to two blogs that I have discovered in the last few weeks and have REALLY enjoyed reading

I know I need to stop talking

and

Where the brass band plays

13/07/2010

The Naughty Step

Claire at The Good,The Bad and The Ugly tagged me in this meme. All you have to do is choose who you would put on the naughty step, link back to who tagged you and tag some other peeps.

I knew as soon as I had been tagged who I would choose.

So without further ado, I give you Richard Hammond. Urgh.




I cannot stand this dude. I know he had an accident and learnt to talk again with lego and that is super duper amazingzillas.

But.

He has awful hair.

And he is so small he makes my flesh itch. Scratching now actually! I am you know.

They actually call him the hamster, those blokes off the car programme. Cringe.

He ruined a gig for me last year. He did. I tell you for why. The Nudie Princess and I went to see The Enemy. I love their music but didn't really know what they looked like if you get what I mean?

Turns out the lead singer is a younger version of old gerbil chops.

Christ I wanted to rip my arm off and throw it at the stage I was so annoyed.

Anyway. I tag Long Tall Ally and The Nudie Princess.

I am off to be pissed off now. Can't stand that dude.

07/07/2010

Yes but I said sorry?




Little legs has been somewhat of a little shit of late.

Awww bless him your'e thinking.

I am not kidding.

We have started to dread picking him up from nursery as for the last three weeks both The Gorgeous Husband and myself have been told of him pushing, pinching,punching and (sicks up a little in my own mouth.....) BITING. Sigh.

The nursery are concerned as its so out of character for him. And nursery isn't the only place he's been doing it, at home he's been dealing out the slaps and then looking at us with a kind of rabid look in his eye as if to say ''come on then, outside, lets 'ave it''

And the weird thing is when he does it at nursery he explains to the staff, that's it's really ok, because he said sorry.

Well jeez that's alright then. Blimey, well in that case I can think of a few people who'll be getting a slap from me in the not too distant, namely Richard sodding Hammond, or the hamster or whatever his name is. The little fella off Top gear. Cannot stand him. Any way I digress.

So basically I have come up with a plan. I'm sure this is all down to Blossom's arrival and he wants a bit of attention. We've done our best but there's two not one now and I'm splitting myself down the middle as much as possible. So I want to draw attention to the positive behaviour and try to ignore the rest.

Previously he would have a two minute time out on the sorry spot for undesirable behaviour after being given a warning. But this is losing impact so I need a different tactic.

I've made a chart for kind behaviour and we take it everywhere including nursery. He gets a sticker for being a nice chappy to others and we reward on Daddy's rest days by treating him to a day out. He wants to go swimming so all being well that's what we'll be doing.

It's been going quite well and he was excellent at nursery today.

Shit I have to wear a swimming costume.

Oh well my thighs can't have as many rolls as Blossoms.

06/07/2010

Mas frickin titis


picture credits


Women!

A word of warning.

Mastitis sucks donkey dinkle. Ok a few words but all true.

I have just got over my second bout, I had it once with Monty which made me give up breastfeeding (only to go back to it a few weeks later.)And then I noticed the all too familiar signs this weekend whilst feeding Blossom.

It feels like you have the worst flu. Raging temperature,shivers,sweats, aching in every joint and your boobs go hard and red in area's. See the picture THAT is what it looks like. OUCHIEEEEEE!

The best thing to do is get rest, plenty of fluids, paracetamol, and feed through it. Make sure the breasts are emptied after every feed and if they are not, express the remainder off. Also get some antibiotics asap. All this advice was provided by my brillo bud Sam at The (Nudie) Princess Diaries. Follow her blog for she is funny and wise you see.

And finally a rant.

I was at my Dad's when it happened. He lives a few counties away so on our journey home I called my out of ours doctors service and was told they would not even speak to me until I crossed the border of the county I live in????

25/06/2010

Errrr just slide the lock to the left Monty!

You may remember from previous posts the very special relationship Monty has with my Grandparents who he calls Bobbobs and DeeDee.

They adore him, he adores them.

And at seventy years old I am always amazed at their boundless energy around him.

They make up any excuse to scoop him up and take him back to theirs, his little suitcase gets packed and he trundles off down the path with them chattering away.

This week was no different, the excuse was:

''Now we've been talking and seeing as you need to have us look after Monty for two hours while you take Blossom to baby massage, well he may as well come and stay with us for two days don't you think?''

So he drags his little suitcase off, all excited to be staying at his special Great- Grandparents house.

Apparently this time he insisted on taking himself to the toilet.

Nothing unusual, until, clink....he locks the door!

My Grandads eyes go wide and my Nans heart rate rises. ( did I mention she has a dicky heart?)

''Monty''

''Yes BoBobs''

''Have you locked the door?''

''Yes BobBobs''

''Can you unlock it there's a good boy''

Long pause.

''No''

Oh how I laughed! They got him out but not before he had made my poor old Grandparents voices go quite high pitched!!

Naked Bear Wrestling



picture credits


Monty has a a thing about clothes. He likes to remove them.

I brought him home from nursery last week and took off his nursery shirt so that I could wash it ready for the next day as it was invariably covered in chalk, paint, marker pen, snot, yogurt and dirt.

But he didn't want another t.shirt on, so we are nekkid torso from here on.Then first pee he needs once he's home he removes his shorts and underpants and refuses to put them back on. His red converse boots however, they are allowed to stay on as he needs them on if he wants to go in the garden doesn't he Mummy?This is pretty much what we do now.

So the afternoon is spent completely stark whatnot naked apart from boots. Which does have a rather surreal look to it.

I ignore it and we carry on. This particular avo a spot of baking occurs where he and Daddy create cookies. Monty thinks it sensible to don chefs hat and apron (thank god.)

Then just after Dinner I look down to see Monty naked wrestling his teddy bear under his mini table, legs spread eagle and all his bits and pieces keep disappearing and reappearing behind different bits of teddy.

Luckily I had already eaten.


Anyone else's kid do this?

No?

Just mine?

18/06/2010

Raising Awareness

THIS IS NOT A SPONSERED POST

I was approached by Arthritis Research to raise awareness of Juvenile Arthritis.I of course was happy to oblige,if you want to find out more then just click on the link
http://www.arthritisresearchuk.org



What is juvenile idiopathic arthritis?


Juvenile idiopathic arthritis, or JIA, is really a group of illnesses that share similar symptoms. Idiopathic arthritis is arthritis with no known cause and, just as in adult arthritis, it causes inflammation, pain and swelling in the joints.

Arthritis affects 1 in 1,000 children in the UK and can begin at any age. Most types of JIA are more common in girls.


Most children won't have lasting problems from childhood arthritis. JIA doesn't turn into rheumatoid arthritis in adulthood. And having juvenile idiopathic arthritis doesn't mean that your child will go on to develop adult forms of arthritis.


It's not known exactly what causes juvenile idiopathic arthritis.


Every child's illness is different and responds differently to treatment, so it's very difficult to predict how arthritis will affect your child.

Some children may have joint damage that limits their daily activities to some extent, and some could develop osteoporosis when older. Others may need continuing medication, and a few may need joint replacements in adulthood.

However, many children go into what doctors call remission, which means their symptoms disappear, often permanently – about 60% of children with JIA have few or no further problems with arthritis as adults.

About a third of children with juvenile idiopathic arthritis will have some continuing problems as they become teenagers and young adults. The transition to adult life can be full of anxieties for any young person and having arthritis can bring additional challenges.

There is no cure for juvenile idiopathic arthritis at present, but there are a number of drugs that can help to relieve your child's pain, reduce the swelling or inflammation in his or her joints, and slow down the advance of arthritis.

If you were interested in donating to aisd research please go to http://www.arthritisresearchuk.org/get_involved/donate.aspx

*many thanks to arthritisresearchuk.org for providing the information in putting together this post

16/06/2010

Hello, Hiya *waves*

Hi!

Remember me? No probably not.

I've been away ages. Naughty blogger. Smack my hand etc etc.

But I'm back NOW and I'm not really sure why I went away. I think I just lost my mojo to write all the daily craziness down, and then I felt guilty and then that just made blogging feel a little bit like homework which defeats the whole object. Also I was busy with my babies!

So I had a holiday, a blogging holiday, and now I'm back all refreshed!

So, a little catch up......well....



This little Pickle, is now 14 weeks old.

Obsessed with my boobies, a few more pounds and she's half the weight of her brother!! She is zooming up the weight centiles and absolutely thriving.

Shes smiling, cooing, gurgling and I heart her a great deal. I wish she'd kick her 3a.m boob habit but it's still early days.

(Please excuse the scabby head look in that pic. She had HORRENDOUS cradle cap. Gone now. Phewy! Could of picked a different pic but love her pickle tee in this one)

And this dude....



Excuse the lack of trousers (but he does have his pants on) and the only wearing one sock look. Mo's new favourite thing to do is have teddy bears picnic's. Sometimes it gets a bit far fetched and teddy eats too much and Mummy has to go and get a bowl from the cupboard so teddy can have a hurl. Yup. Seriously!That's some imagination my kid has eh?

Oh and he has also taken to dunking oatcakes in my tea, yes the savoury taste of dust variety. I know. Shudder.

So anyway, I'm glad to be back, and I'll be popping in on your blogs and squishing their cheeks asap!

05/05/2010

All the help you can get



Whilst breastfeeding Blossom I have come accross some superb products that have really helped me. And lets face it, breastfeeding can be tough, and sometimes you feel you need all the help you can get.Anything that makes you feel more comfortable and confident can only be a good thing.

The breastvest has been invaluable. Any Mum will tell you, when baby is still new, your gut is....well...JELLY! The thought of lifting my top up and exposing my gut leaves me far more concerned than exposing my boobs!

If you are worried about exposing your postnatal tummy when breastfeeding, as I was then this is the product for you.

Here is the blurb:

Created, designed, tested and approved by breastfeeding mums, breastvest is held in place by specially designed straps and sits just below your nursing bra, comfortably covering your postnatal tummy whilst offering a comfortable layer for support and modesty.

Born out of frustration with boring, expensive breastfeeding tops and stretched necklines, breastvest was invented to make breastfeeding in public easier and to let new mums open the doors to their pre-pregnancy wardrobe while still doing the best for their babies.


I literally wash and wear this product day after day. My only annoyance with it is that I do find the straps slip down my arms slightly. But I am willing to put up with that and keep my tum hidden.

Reasonably priced £14.99 each and available in many great colours.Check them out on their website HERE

Thanks to breastvest for the use of their image.





Another fab find is the MAMASCARF

Mamascarf is an award winning breastfeeding scarf that not only allows mothers to breastfeed stylishly and discreetly but also provides essential support without the need for a cushion. This was something I found extremely useful as it's great being able to feed with your support cushion at home, but this helps when you are out and about by lifting the baby up to you.

It covers you before and after feeding. Which is great for getting baby latched on properly with out Tom, Dick, Harry and everyone they went to school with seeing your nipple!

I find this useful when feeding at my Grandparents house as although they are completely supportive of my feeding, my poor Gramps does blush if he accidently see's a flash of tit!

Well worth the £17.99, this lives in my change bag and I use it regularly.

Thanks to mamascarf for use of the image.

Roll up Roll up! I have an announcement to make!



So I finally have got round to officially announcing Blossoms birth to family and best buds with the this gorgeous artwork created by the fantastic DANDELION LOUNGE
We thought something official was required as even in this modern age twitter, facebook and text is a bit of a poor way to holler to the world that you have had a baby, no?

Actually no it's not as I loved having my hundreds of birthing partners on twitter but you know what I mean. Something pretty and tangible was required to mark the occasion.

I mean with a shiny postcard that can be stuck on a fridge and cooed over. Perfect.

Isn't it yum?

It was so easy, I simply emailed the photo's, and the wording that I wanted, and super quick this stunner winged it's way back to me. CLEVER!

I love the fact that I will have this little beauty to keep forever as a keep sake.

They are providing artwork only designs for just £19.99.
Printed postcards, folded cards and other items are also available at
www.dandelionlounge.co.ukhttp:///

21/04/2010

Blossom hits the bottle!

So the time has come to introduce a bottle to Miss Blossom. She is exclusively breastfed but I cannot deny I was looking forward to giving the girls (Salutes the boobs) a well earned break. Plus I have a hen night to go to in May and a wedding in June so the bottle will need to be established by then so that I can have a jolly (ahem I mean a break!)

I am lucky enough to have been sent some bottles from BABYBORNFREE to review.

I have reviewed their toddler cups before HERE where I have commented on the use of BPA chemicals in infant cups and feel passionate about the Baby Born Free product. You can read more about BPA in this fantastic post written by MUMMYTIPS. It makes extremely interesting reading and I have certainly had my eyes opened to what goes into our infant feeder cups and bottles since researching the subject on the internet. They have banned the use of these chemicals in infant bottles and cups in Denmark, hopefully it will also happen here, but until then we need to make an informed decision as to what products we use.

So, I expressed the milk and being the control freak that I am decided that I wanted to give her her first bottle! Which is bonkers as it kind of defeated the whole aspect of me having a break but there you go. I wrapped myself in the Husbands dressing gown to hide my milk smell and got on with it. I have to say I wasn't sure how she would take to it as the bottles teats aren't particularly nipple like. But she took the bottle no problem!

Success. She took no exception to the teat and had no sign of gas afterwards, I was chuffed and she was full! Happy days!

I'll continue to use these bottles for Blossom, and Monty continues to use the cups. And I am happy in the knowledge that they are BPA free.

So to the hen night I shall go, leaving my Husband with a freezer full of my house white!

They are available from Boots,Mothercare and amazon.
Prices start at £12.99 for two 5oz bottles.

*I may have scarred Monty for life, he saw me expressing and eyes wide said :

"MUMMY! WHAT.ARE.YOU.DOOOOOOOING???"

hmmm.

What they don't tell you about breastfeeding

1. Around day four, you wake up and your boobs look like two bald heads, adult bald heads.

2.Cabbage leaves help engorgement. True. Cabbage leaves stink. Also true.

3.You're other half walks in on you expressing. Bang goes your sex life, he'll never see you in the same way again.

4.Before you get into your breastfeeding groove (and it still hurts) after every feed you are on a countdown to the next one...A COUNTDOWN TO PAIN!!

5.If anyone wakes baby before they are due a feed, so that you end up having to feed early, that person is quite honestly off your Christmas card list. In fact all they will be recieving is a dog turd. (Not the fake joke kind)

6. If that person is male and they make any kind of comment about your disgruntlement, they are met with :
"HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF EVERY THREE HOURS A SPARROW CHEWED ON YOUR TESTICLES???"

7.Anyone making the comment that baby needs a feed (with that annoying sorry smirky face) you are mentally counting the ways you could murder them ,bury them, hide the evidence and get away with it. Or something like that.

8.When you are feeding in the middle of the night and other half is sleeping like a baby next to you, you actually consider smothering him with a pillow. But realise that is a tad dramatic. So you turn the tellybox up loud instead. Hah.

9. Your let down reflex put quite simply is like a hose. If baby stops feeding and you don't realise, you will most probably spray their face, maybe the chair, and yourself a little bit. I did this once in a Mothercare feeding room> And a cafe> And a doctors waiting room.

10. When you are due to feed you boobs start to fill and then go rock hard, as if someone has sprayed freeze spray on them. A kind of boobie ice age?

11. You will wake up, panic you have pissed the bed, then think you have knocked a drink over yourself, then realise your boobs have just exploded. A breast milk crime scene has occurred and the duvet is wet as are you.


All of this is normal.

And it does get easier.

And when it does it is awesome.

18/04/2010

And thats how Mo see's it!




All these little gems were uttered by Monty in the space of one day. I had to write them down for fear of forgetting them and these little Montyisms are far too precious to be forgotten.



"Quick Mummy Blossom crying, get your boobies"
(On hearing Blossom waking up from a nap)

"It's tidy up time in five minutes, if you wanna make a mess, do it now"
(Cheeky bugger)

"My hair looks brilliant Mummy"
(On catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror)

"It's too loudy"
(noisy I think he means!)

16/04/2010

You need this





Since having Blossom I have used many newborn products, some of which have been fantastic.

In the next few months I'll be sharing the best stuff in my YOU NEED THIS posts.

This beautiful swaddling blanket comes from the fantastic website MANUKA BABY, founded by the brilliant Alaina Morris.

It is gorgeous. And it is the quality and detail that set it aside from your run of the mill swaddlers. I have a white one with a cute little rose on the front. Too flipping sweet!

They are made from organic New Zealand cotton and are not cheap but make a great luxury baby gift. If you are pregnant, I'd drop hints now!

Blossom is only loosely swaddled in the picture, but at bed time she finds being swaddled comforting and I find it helps to settle her, it's also great for preventing wake ups from the startling morro reflex present in new babies.

15/04/2010

An artistic trip(up my bum)

I'm standing in the kitchen making breakfast whilst simultaneously trying to stop my contact lenses falling out from the not sleeping. I'm also silently asking myself if I am tired or if perhaps I have had a stroke as the left side of my face seems to have dropped somewhat.

Monty bouncily trundles into the kitchen jumping down the step and trips into me. He falls over,landing flat on his front on the floor.

If this was me I would have lay face down and screamed until someone showed me some sympathy. But I guess when you're two it's less far to fall? He springs up. I carry on buttering toast.

Then his little voice pipes up "LOOK MUMMY LOOK! IT BEHIND YOU"

So I turn, I look.

But he jumps behind me.

Again "Look Mummy Look!"

So I turn around again, but again he's moved behind me.

We repeat this what feels like twelve no, even 13 times (ok probably three times but I am shattered and prone to exaggerate)

Now I am an incredibly patient Mummy especially early in the morning. (Previous sentance big fuck off lie)but even I was getting annoyed. And then I realised. He was standing staring at me with a stub of mint green chalk clutched in his mitt.

He was referring to the massive chalk line he had drawn down my arse as he fell over.

Sigh.

10/04/2010

It's rubbish when your boobs wet themselves. Really rubbish.



Last night was utter pants. Great big skiddy, paisley, y fronts pants.

I can't complain too much. No sod it. Yes I can.

Gorgeous husband was on a night shift, Mo sneaked into bed with me and I was too knackered to argue and to be quite honest was quite enjoying him snuggling in. Obviously it's a tad annoying when he starts to sleep star shaped and starts rolling over and slapping me round the face. That's rubbish. But the cudding is rather nice.

The night started OK with Blossom waking for her last feed of the day at around 11.30pm, this then usually means that she goes till 3ish then again till 7ish. All perfectly acceptable times.

Not so last night.

Every time I fed her, changed her nappy, settled her down, then tried to put her down and BAM she was wide awake. Seriously I am sure I heard her whisper "no chance Mummy!"

So in the end I think I slept 1am till 3am, then 6am till 8am.

At one point tears came. Not hers. Mine. Tears that anyone who has been up half the night with a 4week old baby will understand. The repetitive sleep deprivation has started to kick in and a toddler during the day means fat chance of a daytime nap for me.

But the sweetest thing happened as I started to cry.

This warm little body snuggled in beside me, wrapped his arm around me and with one hand , gently patted my arm. All the while he gently shhhhhd me and said "It okay Mummy."

My sweet little man. Being Mummy's little helper. Taking his role very seriously obviously.

When I woke up to Mr arriving home from his night shift, the duvet was wet, as was my top. Cheers boobs. Way to make a bad night, worse.