All hail the biddy tots!

On a Wednesday morning while lil legs is at nursery Blossom and I attend a Mum and baby/toddler group. Myself and my kooky friend have renamed  the group 'biddytots' on account of it being run by a group of church goers who are lets say, senior in years.

Each week we pay our fifty English whole pence for our pink wafer biccy and a cup of Iceland's instant coffee and stifle giggles as the biddies get run ragged by the toddlers and make inappropriate comments as only those past caring over seventy do.

I always find the experience surreal as my buddy Cheshire Mum spends her Wednesday with Coleen Rooney (you know the one that married Shrek .)   I know! Glam right? They go to the same toddler music group. And there we are experiencing a different type of Hollywood tan altogether. Mainly the pop sock forty denier kind.

These last few weeks both of us have had to feign excuses more believable than 'we are washing our hair' as the biddies are trying to force us to come to the Christmas party that's in the evening sans kids. There will be 'festive food such as lasagna, something with chicken and food for those vegetarian people snort and if you don't like that then I'm sure there will be quiche.' Apparently.Funnily enough we've both managed to weedle out of going but part of me thinks maybe we should go just to see what the biddies are like after a few pints of cooking sherry?

But  the star of biddy tots is Micheal Caine. Not the real one you understand. But he is pretty bloody close. He takes the fifty pence when you arrive and gets yelled at takes instruction from the main biddy. I'm not sure how the main biddy got the important role of main biddy. Maybe she was voted the main biddy? I'm doubtful. I think she probably forced the title on herself. I'm sure a Lord of the Flies scenario only with biddies is on the cards at some point. In fact if she's not there after Christmas I would put money on the other biddies having got fed up with her and putting her in the lasagna at the  adults only Christmas party.

Oh blimey.

Do any of you go to a similar surreal group run by senior citizens?