Yesterday I fell over.

It bloody hurt. A lot actually.

But more than that it was embarrassing. Very.

I had arrived for my last evening at college, with my (as instructed) plate of party food. The plate on which contained things I was very excited about eating. Simple things please me. Party platters being one of them.

So anyway, one hand has plate tightly clutched, the other a carrier bag full of ring binders to be handed in for marking and cross referencing. I was smug as I was handing in 3 units. I felt pretty kick ass and was not far off polishing my own college geek halo. I should have known pride comes before a fall.

So anyway I'm tottering into college across the car park, treats and topics in my podgy little paws and the usual walk way to get to my class is shut off, so I take a detour, only problem being my detour included hopping over a parking barrier. A metal one.

My detour also routed round via the student canteen and I can see about 5 blokes who i am going to assume are studying mechanics sat around a table through the window. So I approach the barrier, lift and get one leg across, lift the other and crash, all tubby 27 weeks of pregnant me decks it, college folders one way, my plate of samosas the other. My knee hits the floor with a thud as does my hand into the gravel.

The canteen fella's must have seen me approach, then suddenly disappear from sight leaving my eyebrows in thin air still where my 5'4'' frame once was.

I whimpered on the floor for a moment, mourning the loss of my party platter( still warm.) I cursed the probability of scuffing a hole in my topshop maternity skinny jeans and considered crawling along the rest of the walkway so that I did not have to pop my head up in view of the window and catch the eye sight of the 'duuuuudes' in the canteen.

But then, as if it couldn't get more embarrassing, the blokes from canteen appear and are picking my pregnant self up off the floor and being incredibly sweet. Dusted off and eyebrows back in place I bid them good morrow and clutch my shattered plate and college work and away I go, blood gushing out of my hand and my knee throbbing.

I have said this many time before HERE and IN THIS POST,
But, seriously, It could only happen to me!!!


  1. did you pick the bits of plate out of the food and eat it anyway? I would have done.

  2. You poor sausage! Hope your pride has recovered ;)

  3. Your blog is very funny - but pregnant lady falling over isn't, hope you are ok!

  4. that sounds like somehting I would do. Hope your ok and recover from the loss of your food.

  5. I have a massive bruise on my knee, I am proud of it in a sort of school boy kinda way. My knee is more bruised than my pride, pride left ages ago, same time as pelvic floor and perky boobs? Funny that!
    Thanks for reaading people. xxx

  6. u crack me up.fact.
    hope u and the jeans are ok xx