I'm standing in the kitchen making breakfast whilst simultaneously trying to stop my contact lenses falling out from the not sleeping. I'm also silently asking myself if I am tired or if perhaps I have had a stroke as the left side of my face seems to have dropped somewhat.
Monty bouncily trundles into the kitchen jumping down the step and trips into me. He falls over,landing flat on his front on the floor.
If this was me I would have lay face down and screamed until someone showed me some sympathy. But I guess when you're two it's less far to fall? He springs up. I carry on buttering toast.
Then his little voice pipes up "LOOK MUMMY LOOK! IT BEHIND YOU"
So I turn, I look.
But he jumps behind me.
Again "Look Mummy Look!"
So I turn around again, but again he's moved behind me.
We repeat this what feels like twelve no, even 13 times (ok probably three times but I am shattered and prone to exaggerate)
Now I am an incredibly patient Mummy especially early in the morning. (Previous sentance big fuck off lie)but even I was getting annoyed. And then I realised. He was standing staring at me with a stub of mint green chalk clutched in his mitt.
He was referring to the massive chalk line he had drawn down my arse as he fell over.