My difficult boy

I love my little ball of fluffy blonde hair and fun implicitly, more than life itself and would without shadow of a doubt give up my own life for him. But I cannot deny, he is difficult.
From birth he was a fussy natured lil chap, struggled to breast feed and rarely liked to be put down which for those early days is fine but eventually you realise WTF! It's 1pm and I have not showered, dressed or brushed my teeth and I need a cuppa, pronto!!! Which cannot go on.
He obviously became less needy thankfully as I would never have emptied the dish washer or hoovered and would be drowning under a sea of used tea mugs and layers of dog hair.
He then became the best sleeper, 11pm til 7am from 10weeks, then 6pm till 7am from 4 months. And 2 good long naps in the day, this was bliss and we had some gorgeous contented months, I felt on top of the world, I had the hang of it, breastfeeding was successful up to 6 months, he weaned well, ate like a trooper, I was doing my best to be Annabel Karmel and Jools Oliver all rolled into one, but as he got older he wasn't doing things like the other babies. He did not sit till 9months old, Health Visitor was concerned at his 9month check,didn't crawl until 14months, cruised along furniture but would not walk, eventually he did at 16months-but it felt like a long wait!!Evenually he caught up and now he is a whirl wind of chatter, movement and as bright as they come, but still he is clingy and can whinge so much through the day that sometimes I feel on the edge of a cliff! I rarely get to go to the loo on my own or if I do he pounds the door down wailing!!!
I do my best, but it's hard. Especially as I have worked in childcare, and am studying childrens care, learning and development now. I feel as though I should have all the answers.
I would love to get through a day without tantrums, being kicked when I change his nappy, refusing to get dressed or do as he's asked.
Every night I go to bed thinking tommorow I'll be a better Mummy, I won't lose my temper, I'll be patient.
Until recently I thought deep down it was me, it must have been something I had done, after all no such thinng as bad children just bad parenting- apparently!
But then not long ago I was being assessed for my course, and my tutor said to me her son was so like Monty, and she could see he was bright, had his own idea's and did not want to folow the pack, which made me feel better.
And since then I have tried. So hard. I used reward charts, stickers, treats for good behaviour, try to keep my cool, count to 5, use a sorry spot for calming him down and getting an apology if he has done something which needs correcting and generally try to be as positive as I can.
It does work, but we are only human us Mums so we still have good days and bad.
He is improving every day, and with him so am I. I love him more than Topshop, chocolate, cupcakes and Paul Weller. And you know what? I would never ever change him because he makes me a better Mum and with that a better person.
I felt this post needed to be written, as Mum's have a tendancy to pretend everything is the mutts nuts when actually we are struggling.
Anyhoo, it's cheaper than therapy!!!!


  1. Hellooo! Finally I get chance to come and check out your new blog!

    I love this post. I love reading about other children that don't quite follow the rules and prefer to make their own up. Kai, as you probably have gathered, certainly falls into the 'difficult' category in just about every way you could imagine. I too long for days with out tantrums and hits and scratches and his determination to everything his own way or not at all.

    It is so hard. And I too feel like the most hopeless mum most of the time. But we're bringing up spirited, independent, adventurous and full-of-fun boys and should be very, very proud of that.

    Love the blog!! Keep it up!! xxxx

  2. I'm so relieved to hear of another mum with a 'dificult boy'. My little one is 10 months and sounds so similar. He too shows no inclination to crawl or even roll at this point in time. He can just about sit up but needs support.
    He is super-clingy and I'm unable to go out of the room without a major crying/screaming session. And he is SO loud.
    I'm dreading returning to work in a few weeks... I have no idea how the nursery will cope with him as he is such a handful.
    It's so hard not to blame yourself and feel that somehow you've 'spoilt him' and encouraged this behaviour. I love him dearly but have many tearful times.
    Many thanks for sharing your story - I don't feel so alone now!